I haven’t forgotten!

So I have been slacking on posting this month. I will resume posting constantly in a couple of weeks. I’m taking a standardized test on October 5th and my whole life is just revolving on that for now so I’ve been blocked in finding stuff to write about.

In the mean time- I’m obsessed with this lady: Lindsay Stirling. Violin meets Dubstep. Perfect study music too!

I Miss…

Oldies!Sometimes I miss the time when we used CDs. The excitement when we had to go to the store, purchase the CD and wait until we were back home to take off the plastic wrap and open that precious box. Looking at the design on the CD and putting it in your CD player. While the songs played, you could grab the booklet and lay on your bed while experiencing your new purchase.

I can’t say I miss VHS, who wants to spend 5 minutes waiting for the video to rewind? I do miss when there was something on TV we would grab a VHS and quickly press ‘record.’ Now, the thought is “hey, I’ll youtube it later…”

Books. I miss when having books was the most normal thing in the world. Yes, they still exist but now everyone is slowly changing to Kindles, Nooks and IPads. I have a Nook, I read on it every now and then but honestly it is not the same. Personally, walking in a bookstore or library is one of the most relaxing things I can do. It is sad that bookstores are becoming a rare thing.  They don’t make it easier for us book lovers either, book prices are higher than Nook or Kindle ones.

Times start changing and things change. The problem is…are we ready for these changes and are these changes actually good for us? CDs are hardcover copies of what people still buy online. At the same time, DVDs are more practical than VHS. About 1000 books fit in a small machine like a Kindle or Nook; but are they beneficial for younger generations to grow up not knowing what a book is and reading from a screen rather than paper? Is our society really progressing or will all this progress really have other side effects we don’t realize until later on?

First Music Disappointment: TDG

Ever since I can remember music has always been my hide-from-the-world outlet. I am the definition of someone who disappears as soon as my headphones are on. I’ve also gone through so many music phases. I listen to everything, but there are music bands that are my go-to for everything. Up until I was 16 or 17 it was Linkin Park. After Linkin Park’s Minutes to Midnight, I kinda gave up on them (and I used to call myself a hardcore fan). I understand that they wanted to explore the various sides of them and eventually might make something that will sound back like Hybrid Theory or Meteora. After I gave up on them I felt like I had no favorite band. I then realized that around the same time I was listening to Linkin Park, I had found another band that I loved too and somehow I never got tired of that one cd they had come out with: Three Days Grace.

Years after, I was going through some changes in my life and at the same time Three Days Grace came out with One-X.  I loved it and listened to it non-stop. The lyrics were simple, but they hit every right spot when I listened to them. Then I saw the little documentary that had come out about the lead singer and how he had been able to overcome problems in his life and that most of the songs that I had fallen in love with were written by him during his time in rehab.

Fast forward to my hardest year in college. Three Days Grace was there again. That year they came out with Life Starts Now. The timing couldn’t have been better. I promised that one day I would go to their concert. Even though they offered Itunes versions of the CD, for this band I had to pre-order the hard copy of the CD. The experience you get when you open a CD box and see the design they picked for the CD and the booklet inside is something that no one can take away from you. It is pure happiness and excitement in that precise moment. Yes, I’m kinda old school.

There is a pattern in this right? Guess when Transit of Venus came out? The same year I graduated college and the same month I had decided I wanted to attempt to get into law school or I would regret it. My broke self- pre ordered one of the fan packages that came with the hard copy of the cd, a poster and t shirt. (yes, I also added my name to the back #nerd)

Disappointment knocks: a couple of months after Transit of Venus came out Three Days Grace broke up. The lead singer decided that he wanted to go solo because the band was no longer producing things from the heart. Alright before someone kills me, they said so many things during this time- but essentially I’ve come to the conclusion that this is what probably happened.

I’m just sad and disappointed that this happened and the way it happened. It was truly my first music related disappointment. Even though the rest of my relatives were thinking I was nuts for feeling like I was. I was sad for a couple of weeks. I was sad that I wouldn’t get the chance to see them live, I purchased a shirt one of their old tours and listened to them non-stop.

Standing On the Edge of a Cliff…

Do you ever fear that you’re not good enough to do something? That you’re putting so much effort and so much time into something that even if you do all you can you still will not achieve that thing you want.

I am standing on the edge of a cliff. I am looking straight at the horizon and know it is all going to pass, but there is always that constant feeling that ‘yes you are at the edge of a cliff’ and at any moment you could trip and fall.

This probably means that I have let a standardized test affect me to the point that I am scared that if I can’t get a good enough score in this test, then how am I actually going to survive IF I get into any school?

I graduated about a year ago and feel as though I am losing at this game of life. I look at my social media sites and find that most of the people I know are moving on, getting jobs, married, babies, master degrees, etc. Ok, I only want the degrees but its insane how fast life is moving on, and we’re only in our 20’s.

Life is about being scared and surviving each fear. Right? As much as I’m scared that I won’t be ‘smart enough’ to take this test, I need to try and see what may happen because if I don’t do it out of fear, I will regret it later in my life. What is life if you don’t risk a little pain? Risk standing at the edge of the cliff to see the sunset at the end of the day.

Diets vs. Healthy Eating

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been on a healthy eating kick. What is really annoying about attempting to make smarter decisions healthy wise is that everyone surrounding you start saying: “Oh you’re on a diet…” I hate diets. I don’t believe in starving myself or depriving myself of anything that I feel like eating.

Like with everything, when you do changes in your life you have to read a little bit about it. I was surprised that when you search “Healthy eating” or “Nutrition” books, you end up with diet books. So, I ended up reading a bunch of samples of various diet books for fun. I probably could have continued writing or practicing for the LSAT but no.

There are so many types of diets that I don’t how people do it. There are even diet books that promise you can loose weight in 8 hours.  I call BS. Also, from the limited amount of reading I did on it every diet book contradict each other. Some tell you don’t eat carbs and sugars others tell you eat certain fats and certain carbs. Maybe people have to pick one book and just follow that? I don’t understand. Some people also go with the idea that they need to skip meals and starve themselves. This is unhealthy in every single way.

Instead of trying to make the fat disappear or starving ourselves why don’t we just start making better decisions when eating? We all know what is healthy and what is not and we don’t have to go out cold turkey. If you want to cut down on something then try doing it slowly for 21 days (they say that’s how long it takes for someone to break a habit).

People often have the idea that for them to eat healthy they have to eat like rabbits. This is not true; you just have to be a little more creative. When my manager at work told me the clothes have to look pretty so people will buy it, I doubted her.  Make your food look pretty and you’ll enjoy it more. Food is supposed to make you feel great not guilty, not slow, not heavy.

I’m not saying that I have achieved the perfect way of eating. I am still and emotional eater, but instead of grabbing cookies or something with a lot of sugar- I grab and apple, I grab a spoon of peanut butter (which I used not to eat because of the calories…ha) or carrots and celery. I still eat carbs, desserts and everything I feel like, but instead of overeating you just have to control the amount you eat.

Camp NaNoWriMo: Race to 20K


This has really become a challenge. I’m currently at 5500 words. I am writing every night (instead of writing for this blog…) and can’t seem to get past the amount of words that I SHOULD be writing every day.
I don’t know how I expected to do NaNoWriMo, if 20K is becoming such a challenge.
You would think its because my story is becoming difficult to continue? No.
Writer’s Block? No.
I have an issue with not editing, but it is part of my problem that I cannot finish a story so I keep repeating myself NOT to edit or REWRITE scenes because I’ll use it as a way not to finish this story again.

Anyway, I found this video on YouTube. I’ve actually thought or said half of these…


Confessions of a Sales Associate

Disclaimer: I’ve only worked in department stores. So I’m not sure how different it may be for some. These are just small thoughts on some common things that have happened to me. Maybe you’ve done this or if you’ve worked in a store it’s happened to you…

If you haven’t worked in a store before of course you’ll probably hate my post.  I know the common response is: “Don’t complain at least you have a job” or “Meh, you get paid to do that stop bitching about it.”

1)     I don’t understand why some people feel like complaining about the store to a sales associate.

Customer: “Why do you buy cheap hangers in this store?”

I replied to this person “I’m sorry” and smiled, but I’m sure that isn’t what she wanted to hear.

My actual response would have been: “I’ve been asking myself the same question lady. You can’t hang anything in these, this store is so cheap man.”

That would have probably gotten me fired.

I’m at the end of the food chain, seriously. If you really feel like something is wrong in the store there are managers and lead sales people in some stores.

2)     Don’t assume the sales person knows about: each product in the entire store (if it’s a department store) or fashion (some may know, some are just as lost as you are).

Customer: “I saw this pretty white dress last time I was here.”

Me: “Do you remember a brand name or where in the floor it was?”

(There are dresses in the dress department and dresses in the casual wear department- there’s also petite/ womens sizes which are different departments too)

Customer *suddenly angry*: “No, I just know it was pretty and it had no sleeves. How is it that you don’t know?”

I kid you not. I have had this type of conversation. Think for a moment, how many white sleeveless dresses there can be in a department store.

Also, I mentioned fashion…

“Do you think this matches with this?”

My thought process goes: “Did I watch Project Runway last night? Did I see this on a mannequin somewhere? Oh my god, I don’t even know how I matched the outfit I’m wearing!”

After what seems like an eternity: I smile and say “Yes, of course.”

Customer thinks I’m stupid and slow, but buys the item. Win!

3)     I can be a bit of a prude sometimes and sometimes there’s no easy way to tell someone they really shouldn’t try pulling that zipper up anymore: Lingerie department and dress department.


70- 80 year old customer: “Can you help me out of this bra?”

(Has the door 90 degrees open and after I unhook the bra she passes it to me, forgetting of course that there is no bra underneath that bra, I get flashed. Great)

I’ve also had the lady that thinks its ok to walk around half naked if she’s not done with the fitting room. No, not a 70-80 year old.


Customer: “Can you zip this up for me?”

(I’m not the skinniest person out there, but I know what size I am and I don’t fit in that size she’s trying to fit in)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t pull it up”


Me- Thinking fast for once: “Let me check for another size”

The awkward moment when THAT dress is the biggest size and you have no way of telling the lady that the women’s department may be a better fit. I feel so bad.

I think I’ll leave it there for now, I didn’t realize I’d make it so long. I hate long posts, then again most of my posts are kinda long.  I probably could continue writing about this until its a book, so I am stopping now.

Taking Standarized Tests…

HELP. I feel like I’m slowly dying…no really.

Graduating college means you have to figure out what you are going to do with your life after, some will go for a masters degree, some will either go for the lawyer or doctor path and some will find a job and try to move on from academics.

I’m one of the ones that NEEDS to go back to school, I don’t know if its because I have major aspirations or just because I honestly don’t know what else to do aside from studying.

I’m taking the LSAT in a month, for the second time…it is not a fun experience and I hope its the last time I have to take this amazing-doesn’t feel like torture-fun experience…

People keep telling me I’m not alone, there are so many other people out there that are just as lost as me. You know what- I don’t know any of these people, they seem to be able to hide it better than me. I’d like to know some of these lost 20-something year olds- lets form a support group or something…kidding.

I want to see a little light in this second year of alumni life, because so far I haven’t seen it. You know what I mean?

#Postgradproblems: Part 1

In the past year I’ve had many people who have talked to me about how I’m in the best part of my life. I’m  young and full of live. Sure… it really doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I’m supposed to be living a different life from the one I am and everyday a part of me dies. HA.

I am a recent graduate (a year ago, so its been a while). I am still in my old summer job, because they kinda like me and kept me after I said I had graduated already. #Postgradproblems

With this job I’ve also had to face the constant questions and awkward smiles:

“Oh you graduated already? That’s nice” *smile* Probably thinking why are you in this job?

“You majored in what?” Now thinking- Oh that’s why.

“The economy is hard, right. Getting a job in that career path may be difficult.” *More awkward smiles* “Now help me checkout..and give me the coupon”

THANK YOU EVERYONE- who rubbed all of this in my face- you really helped my self esteem!!! You’d be surprised how many times I’ve had to answer the same questions. 

Who really knows what they’re doing with they’re life at 22? I go on LinkedIn (I don’t know why I have one) and see some people from my class who have actual jobs and are becoming so prepared to face anything in life (at least that is what it seems) and I’m still in a minimum-wage-dead-end job… This may be part of the reason why I lost positivity in the first place. Damn you LinkedIn! 

Anyways- this ended up being a very all over the place kinda rant. Hopefully we all learned some things: 1) If you talk to a recent graduate that may be in a low paying job- don’t ask questions that may turn into awkward smiles and “that’s nice” 2) Stay away from social medias that are very career oriented if you’re still in that awkward phase of your life where you don’t know where you’re going. Just don’t.